Ingredients:
1 cup water
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup butter
1 cup flour
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Directions:

1. Preheat 1-1/2 inches oil in a 10-12 inch pan to 375. (I used a candy thermometer.)

2. In a separate dish, mix 1/4 cup sugar and cinnamon, set aside.

3. In sauce pan, mix water, brown sugar, salt and butter. Heat to a boil. Remove from heat. In a mixer put 1 cup flour and add butter mixture. Mix until well blended. Add eggs and vanilla and mix until fully blended.

4. Fill decorating tool with dough and attach largest star tip.

5. Once oil is hot enough, squeeze dough out of decorator into oil, about 4 inches (depending on size you want). Cook 1 min, turn over and cook another minute or two. Churros should be a nice golden brown.

6. Remove with slotted spoon to paper towel-covered plate. While still warm, roll in cinnamon-sugar mix.

So.. yesterday two of my coworkers brought in their babies. One, who has a 7-month-old boy has brought hers in a few times (he’s precious!) and the other has a 3-month-old girl and it was my first time seeing her. What a ton of hair she had! It’s always fun to see babies, I love them and their laughs and their clothes and their little bitty shoes. Another coworker looked at me and said, “Doesn’t this make you want one?”

“No.”

“What?!?!?!”

I told her I am getting a new neice this summer and that’s good enough for me.

But then I saw this post from Living on 4th Street and, well.. THIS makes me want one.

Living On 4th Street

I love their little stories they make up and how they are so sweet and loving.

And if that doesn’t just tear your heart strings (what are you, made of stone?!?!), THIS will:

Dooce

Ingredients:
1-1/4 cups (2-1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, plus more for pan
2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for pan
1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1-1/2 teaspoons salt
2 cups packed light-brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
3 large eggs
2-1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 cup chopped walnuts (about 4 ounces)
1 cup toffee bits

Directions:

1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Line bottom of pan with parchment paper; butter and flour parchment paper.

2.In a saucepan over medium heat, cook the butter until it turns golden brown; remove from heat, and let cool. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt.

3.In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine browned butter and both sugars; stir with a wooden spoon until combined. Attach bowl to mixer; add eggs. Using the paddle attachment, beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add vanilla, and beat to combine. Add flour mixture, walnuts, and toffee bits. Mix until thoroughly combined, and pour into prepared pan.

4.Bake until a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean, 35 to 40 minutes (do not overbake). Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely before turning out of pan onto a cutting board. Peel off parchment paper; cut blondies into squares. Blondies can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature up to 3 days.

So.. that’s the last thing my father ever said to me. “FINE!” right before he stormed off like a child. That was a year ago, exactly.

My younger brother, Andrew, is serving a mission for the LDS church, and it’s a tradition for their families to have a little get-together before they leave for friends and family to come and chat and give well-wishes (and sometimes gifts) and say their goodbyes for the next two years. There were a lot of people there, and as my relationship with my dad was already strained, I figured we would avoid each other (as usual) and it would all be fine. Except at one point, while I was watching my brother-in-law play with a bunch of kids (seriously, I love watching men play with kids and be real fathers!!), he snuck up on me. Ninja style. Except he is missing half a foot and really isn’t ninja-like at all, besides the fact that I didn’t notice him there until he said, “So, tell me about your new house.”

And to avoid a scene and to handle this as rationally as I possibly could, I simply said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

We hadn’t talked in years, he had already gone against everything he had been told would be a good idea to help have a relationship with anyone left in his family, and I just didn’t want to deal with it. I didn’t need him to congratulate me on my house. I didn’t need him to ask me questions about it. He certainly doesn’t need to know where I live.

And my response, while maybe not the most grown up, was calm and truthful. And instead of just taking it, he stood up quickly, said “FINE!” loudly and stormed off. Scene NOT avoided.

And since then, I haven’t seen him.

I did hear from him, twice. Once, for my birthday last year, he sent me an ecard. I was shocked. But, Sariah had told him a few months before that he should make an effort, a small effort, and that might help. I replied back with a thank you, and that I appreciated the thought. (I was in therapy at the time. LOL)

And then, well, this post documents the holiday season.

January 12th my dad e-mailed me. He had found my blog and had read the previous posts I had written about him. And while he apologized for some of the things I mentioned, and admitted he was wrong, he would always turn around in the same sentence and somehow justify it.

Some of my favorite parts:

Yes, I have been very selfish. You’re correct that I have put my self before your needs and I’m very sorry for that. But in my defense, how did things change when your mother took over the finances in 1996?

I did not call Ruth at 5pm Christmas eve, because I was getting ready to go to my second job. I probably called the Tuesday before and I know it was last minute and I would still like to take you out to dinner sometime.

I texted Ruth on my way to work saying she would not believe who had e-mailed me. And then she went to her computer and realized he had copied her, and all our siblings. I asked them all what they thought. I wasn’t sure what to say.

My brother, David, responded to my dad, taking his letter paragraph by paragraph and logically ripping it apart.

“Yes, I have been very selfish. You’re correct that I have put my self before your needs and I’m very sorry for that. But in my defense, how did things change when your mother took over the finances in 1996?”

Perhaps they would have if you didn’t continue to secretly spend and accumulate debt…as I recall that was the biggest issue.

“I did not call Ruth at 5pm Christmas eve, because I was getting ready to go to my second job. I probably called the Tuesday before and I know it was last minute and I would still like to take you out to dinner sometime.”

She received the call Christmas Eve; I doubt there was any weird time warp involved.

The fact was, I was standing in my kitchen when Ruth received the call from my dad on Christmas Eve. No, there was not a time warp at all!!!

I did respond, and tried to remain calm and concise. Here is some of what I said.

As for getting to know me, or having a relationship with me: I can’t say what the future will bring. Right now, as you saw in my blog post, I don’t have a need to be around you. I am trying to take care of my own health, mental and physical, and right now I don’t see you as a positive influence in my life.

I know nothing I have said is anything you want to hear. I don’t believe in avoiding confrontation because it’s easier, I don’t believe in hiding my feelings anymore, because all it does is hurt me in the end.

One last thing, the only thing I really want to comment on. You said it was unforgivable to threaten to make Ben live with you half the time, but have you ever apologized to HIM for that? The rest of us felt strongly about that because of our love for him, but he is the one you wronged, and you really should tell him that you are sorry for putting him through any of that.

And that’s the last communication I had with him. I don’t know where this goes from here. It’s been a year since I saw him, and I don’t see anything coming up where we will be at the same thing for ANOTHER year, when Andrew returns home.

Ingredients:
Bread
1 pound medium asparagus, tough ends trimmed
Extra-virgin olive oil
Kosher salt and cracked black pepper

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Put asparagus in paper bag, drizzle outside of bag with olive oil (to prevent burning). Sprinkle asparagus with salt and pepper. Close bag, fold over several times to hold steam in. Put on baking sheet, drizzle with more olive oil, bake for 20 minutes.