So.. I work really well with goals. I don’t know what it is, but I like having that pressure of knowing I have a deadline. And I like it when the deadline is closer, rather than far away. Saying, “this has to be done for Christmas” isn’t pressure enough because Christmas can seem so very far away. Instead I am focusing on daily goals. Andrew’s scarf has to be worked on daily, at least 12 rows a day (the pattern chart). It went from sitting at an inch long for a couple months to now being close to 8 inches. Still have a way to go, but with a daily routine of doing it, it’ll actually get done.

I have a few other projects for Christmas I need to work on, so I am setting up my goals for those as well. I haven’t quite determined what the daily/weekly requirement will be, but my hope is to finish the larger project by Thanksgiving and the smaller project shortly after.

I also realized that I have currently 4 projects on needles (including Andrew’s scarf) and I need to finish them. One is the farrow rib scarf on my current projects page. Super easy and fast, so I need to make time to just finish it. Plus then I can wear it this fall! The other is another easy scarf I started because I didn’t have my other projects handy. It’s a simple stockinette stitch and it’s alternating green and pink. It’s maybe half done. I need to get that finished. And then I still have Ruth’s bag to finish up. All I need to do is sew the handle on and make the closure. I should do that this weekend, actually.

The bag I’ve been working on all year will have to wait til after Christmas, but as soon as my other projects are done I’ll set goals to finish.

I’ve told myself no starting new projects (besides the Christmas projects) until the old ones are done. I am super excited to try out some patterns I have but, to get to them I have to finish the old ones! But just wait til you see what I have in mind!

So.. a year disappears so quickly, doesn’t it? August is ending and Christmas just seems to be sneaking up on me. My family has started doing an exchange between the adults, instead of giving gifts to everyone. We do 2 exchanges; one is a store-bought gift with a limit, the other is a home-made gift (with a limit that we sometimes ignore). We draw names right after Christmas so we all have a year to plan and work on our projects.

Now, the person I got, I immediately thought of several ideas of what to make. Which, is really good, because some people are much harder than others! Anyway, here it is, August 28th and while I have ideas, I have not started a thing on it. Yesterday I narrowed down to exactly what I am making, what my timeline is for it, and what my back up plan is should I not finish in time. I seriously vow that next year I will start sooner.

One thing I’m really going to hate about this is not being able to post pictures and updates about what I’m making because that person can’t see it! So I will have to post after Christmas.

Of course, that’s given I have a camera to take pictures of the progress. I sure hope I do. As I said earlier this week, last weekend my camera died. I looked online and it looks like a fairly common problem; there are two screws inside the camera that often come loose, fall and then short out the camera. So, I am hoping once I have $90 to fix it, that will be that and I’ll be back to shooting again.

In the mean time, I am trying desperately to finish the birthday Christmas scarf for Andrew. I love this pattern. It is just rather time consuming working it because it’s 12 rows that are all slightly different, so I have to pay close attention to which I am on. There is cabling, which I seriously love. It’s not difficult but looks beautiful. My new goal is to knit (at least) a set of 12 rows each day. That way I can hope to be done in time to mail for Christmas.

Since my camera is out of commission (sad face), I took a quick picture with my phone.

The picture quality sucks but at least you can see I made progress. I’m going to attempt an extra set of 12 rows today, for bonus points. Haha!

1) I successfully decorated and displayed 200 cupcakes for a wedding for a friend. The cupcakes were beautiful and delicious and all I heard were good things from guests. I over heard the bride say, “it looks just like I imagined it.” I’m not sure if she was talking the cakes specifically or the whole reception because the entire thing was beautiful. I was so happy to be a part of it.

B) My car died. Transmission. More to come.

3) My camera died. I looked online and it seems to be a common error. A company in Texas will fix it for $89. A company in town will look at it for $20 and let me know. I’m debating which to do, because if I pay $20 and then am told it will cost more than $70 to fix it, I’ll have made the wrong choice. Dilemma. But, at least I have time to wait because I have to fix my car first!

4) I got surprised at a surprise party I helped plan for my little brother. See, Ben went and graduated high school this year and no one said anything. So we decided to throw him a surprise graduation party. We even had a pinata so we could play my favorite game, Beat Ben. Well, party time comes and a sign goes around that says Happy Birthday & Graduation! And I was given a birthday balloon, found out there was a 2nd game based on quotes I say and there was a second dessert planned with me in mind. Both Ben and I were surprised to find that we were honorees at a party we both helped plan. How fun!

5) I got to see my niece in her first soccer scrimmage match. It was fun and cute to see these little girls who really don’t know what they are doing yet. The goalies did a great job and everyone had fun. I got a little sunburned. Since my car was broken, I rode my bike and realized just how out of shape I am.

So.. the past two weeks I have been baking furiously and my freezer holds the proof. So far, I have 12 dozen cupcakes frozen and waiting. By the end of this week, it’ll be 18 dozen. 108 chocolate, 108 vanilla.

This weekend I will finally get to testing the Italian Meringue Buttercream and a round of cookies for the decorations of the cupcakes.

Just wait til you see these cakes when I’m done, they are going to be awesome.

And in the mean time, I’ve created a web site for Sweet Petites. Still a work in progress.

So.. yesterday was my birthday. I have a rule that I never work on my birthday so I got to sleep in a little, which was great. I went to a movie with Ruth, Tom & the kids and Ben got to come along as well. The movie was enjoyable and everyone had a good time. We had lunch and then, I’m so exciting – I took a nap. It’s my birthday, I can nap if I want to.

After my nap I went home, whipped up some ganache and frosting to make some S’mores cupcakes (I had already baked the cupcakes). They tasted good, although I am going to work on my presentation. The graham crackers on top made the frosting not stick well and it slid off for some people. I used my kitchen torch to toast the marshmallow frosting. Yummy.

I had a fun dinner with friends, watched tv, hung out and relaxed. My kind of day.

So.. the past year has been one of growth and reflection. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure myself out, figure out what I want and who I am and where I’m going. The past several weeks have been difficult in that I haven’t been able to see and feel that. I haven’t been able to work on myself. I’ve been doing so much better, but the fact is I’m not done, I may never be “done”. The past couple weeks have shown me that even more.

I need to get back to working on myself. I haven’t been doing all the things I love to do. I haven’t been excited and hopeful. And I need to get back to that. I need to knit more, and not just because I have a deadline, but because I want to. I need to read more. Going back through the notes I took during my therapy sessions, I keep coming back to the notes saying to do the things you love. Not wait til you feel like it or are in the mood, just do it and you WILL feel like it and you will get in the mood.

I’m going to work on something I’m calling Kitchen Therapy. I’m going to focus on doing a new recipe every week – not just baking, but entrees and appetizers as well. I love cooking and baking. I have neglected it so much, eating corn dogs and easy stir fry meals and not spending a lot of time working recipes and trying new ingredients. And I think I need to. So that’s my first goal in making changes to settle my life again.

Since I don’t get paid til Friday, I don’t have a lot of options for a new recipe this week so I am going to do some baking (besides, I need to do something for a get-together tomorrow) and try out a new cookie recipe. Next week I’ll do something savory. Pics and details to come as I try to find myself again through cooking.

So.. I remember when Josh and I first moved in together. He was my first real roommate after living alone for a couple of years. The first night I followed him around like a puppy. Literally, I’d be in the same room with him always. He laughed at me and told me there were other rooms in the house. I guess it was just weird having someone else around, not a guest, someone who lives there too.

Sad, and maybe a little funny.. cause at the end, we were never in the same room at all, and basically acting like we both lived alone but in the same house.

So.. lately I’ve heard a lot about couponing. I think it started with some news stories, all about how these women were getting stuff for free or almost free, sometimes getting paid to buy items. They would talk about how easy it was and how you just do this and that and bam! Free stuff!

There are blogs for it. You follow the blog and they tell you where the deals are. I kind of sat wondering how do they know. What do they do all day, do they go shopping and find deals? Do they get paid for this?

Anyway, then some people I actually know in my real life started doing it. Bags of groceries for just dollars. Including my sister Ruth. I was amazed at the steals and deals they were getting. I wanted in on this action.

The newspaper had a special to get only the Sunday paper for a year for $20. I signed up. And you know, I tried the blog thing. I tried to follow and know who was doing what deals and when to use the coupons in the paper. It’s overwhelming, I’m telling you.

So I went to Plan B and I started just saving the coupons for stuff I know I buy. Well then they just sit in my little coupon holder and look messy and expire and then I throw them out recycle them. (YES I RECYCLE!)

I don’t know what to do. I don’t have time to follow blogs and go shopping at specific stores when the blog tells me to. I basically shop at Winco and Safeway (for food) and then usually Walmart for other necessities if Winco doesn’t carry my brand.

That’s another thing – I like specific brands for specific things. Tresemme for my hair. Dove body wash and deodorant. Aveeno lotion. Because these are things I have tried and work well for me and I don’t want to buy something just because it’s a sale or has a coupon and then look like crap for a couple weeks til it’s gone.

Anyway, what I want to know is if there is anyone like me who actually has succeeded at this couponing thing. I can’t take a lot of time at it. And honestly, I don’t go shopping every week either. And also, how do you remember to bring the coupons to the store – the right coupons? Or are you the crazy coupon lady standing there going through them all holding up the line? Just to save 50 cents on 3 packages of Ziploc bags?

I’m definitely skeptical. I need help. I want to save money but I can’t figure this out.

So.. sometimes I feel so invisible.

It will happen when I’m driving. Someone will just merge right in front of me, as if I wasn’t there. I’m surprised I haven’t been in more accidents, to be honest. I’ll be cruising along, minding my own, thinking about this or that, when I notice some car just starting to come into my lane. Sometimes they signal, sometimes they don’t, but they never seem to see me. I’ll have to slow down, sometimes braking hard. I’ve even had to swerve. And they go on like nothing happened.

It will happen when I’m talking to a friend. Sometimes it seems they are so absorbed in what they are thinking or doing or feeling, that I’ll say something and it’s like I didn’t even speak. They skip right over whatever I said, as if I never said it. No comment, no notice to it. It happened twice today already.

It will happen at work. Sometimes I find myself patting my legs or arms to see if I’m really here.

It’s not like I’m quiet. I speak loudly enough, I try to make my presence known without being overbearing. I’ll repeat myself sometimes, and still.. nothing. As if The Universe has decided that what I am saying right then or what I am doing isn’t worthy of attention and Censors me out. No one cares, says The Universe. That isn’t important. You aren’t important.

But somehow this never works in my favor. I guess when it’s you vs. The Universe, you never can win.

Baby booties

Petal bib

Baby hat

Laid out, these look like a creepy alien

Much better with a model. Can’t wait to take pics of Naomi!

Instead of a gift bag, I knit a purse. I’m working on finishing the handle and attaching it.

I’ve also updated my current projects; Andrew’s Christmas Scarf and my Vegan Farrow Rib Scarf.